You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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