My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
