She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
