Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
