You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
