dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
