Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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