I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
