Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
