if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The feeling are messing with the penis
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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