Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
