Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
