idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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