It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
