My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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