Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
