So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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