I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
