I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
