I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
