If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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