I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
