Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
