69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
