Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
