I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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