Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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