i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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