Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
