Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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