I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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