That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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