Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
