It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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