That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I will die if light touches me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
