i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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