Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
