Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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