Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry about my life...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
