He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
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