I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
