We got so high we made milksteak
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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