i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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