Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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