Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We have started to decorate penises.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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