I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
