good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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