I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
