He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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