he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
