dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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