this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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